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Added: Willia Guan - Date: 24.07.2021 18:18 - Views: 45237 - Clicks: 9758

Well, if Dear James was the nice guy who gets no love, meet Dear Jane, the young lady who gets more than her fair share. Jane is an entrepreneurial young woman who has both an internet connection and a raunchy inclination, and she wanted to share her story with me.

I thought it was worth sharing with you guys for numerous reasons, mostly because her story provokes a range of interesting questions such as:. Would it be different if Jane was John? Hi Kat, Your last post about Grindr for straight people really sparked my interest.

I don't know if you've already posted on this topic as I only started following you recently great work by the way but I would like to know what other women or men out there think about women like me who look for just casual sex online. This year I discovered that there are actually a lot websites on which people advertise for casual sex. I am in that 1 per cent.

And when I realised how easy it was I regretted not getting into this sooner. I am in my 20s, decent looking, own my own home, stable income, have a postgraduate qualification, well rounded interests, have lots of friends and go out socially a few times a week.

But probably what is unique about me is that I have never been interested in having a long term relationship. So in a way, I am probably the antithesis to your 'nice guy' James. I have gotten all the usual lectures about "oh you will change your mind" etc, but it has never appealed to me.

Nor do I feel the need to be in a monogamous relationship with a man. Not everyone is meant to get married and nor should that be the expectation. I am definitely in the camp who believes that while sex and other human interaction is what we naturally crave and desire, a relationship should not have to be the bedrock of our society.

To be clear to your readers, I have never been sexually abused or abused at all in my entire life, nor do I have a penchant for any drugs the occasional drink excluded. I also didn't have sex till a bit later than our national average which is something like 14 now? I am also very firm in my belief that watching porn didn't distort my view of what sex should be, I go with what feels good, not by what is marketed or normalised by pornography.

I have only told some close friends about the fact that I now do this on a regular basis, and it is these friends who I make sure know where I am going on these 'visits'. I always use protection and don't let the guys do anything to me which will actually hurt or constrain me in case I need to stop them or get away. The sex is sometimes great, sometimes pretty awful, but that doesn't bother me.

The more I do it, the less terrified I am. I am still a little wary when the guy writes back to my "I am interested" with something too explicitly kinky, but I find I can control those situations quite well. I acknowledge that there is ificant risk in doing this, but what's life without some risk taking? I am interested in experiencing it with a wide range of people, whether of different nationalities, shapes and sizes, fetishes etc.

I want to do this completely sober and discerning as to whether or not the situation is getting out of hand. Nor do I want any of my friends there with me when I up and leave with a stranger. In many ways, these online hook-ups are actually a little LESS dangerous than hooking up in person. Furthermore, it's not as if I walk into the room and we just get straight to it.

I actually have to hold a conversation with a complete stranger, sometimes for hours before we do anything. In fact, it's great practice for small talk in more 'real life' situations. I think I do pick my hook-ups from the tone of the , so bad spelling, grammar and a general feeling of desperation are out. Many of these guys are well travelled and share similar interests with me.

But not once have I felt the need to 'connect' with them on a romantic level after the fact. I'm not naive, I know they could be putting on an act for a few hours, but that is part of the thrill anyway isn't it? Anyhow, the point is, I don't think most people who seek just sex online are freaks. I have had some great conversations about topics from the Tour de France, the carbon tax, Harry Potter amongst other very normal topics! This gives me even less reasons to believe that conventional relationships make people happy; 2 There seem to be a lot of young guys looking to lose their virginity to someone anonymous, which makes me wonder whether they really don't have someone in their lives whom they trust to share this first experience with?

Or they could just be lying I don't respond to those , but I do feel fortunate that I do this purely by choice. Anyhow enough from me. Keep up the good work and look forward to reading your next post. Does Jane's story ring a bell with you? Or does it rankle with your sexual sensibilities?

Perhaps you have questions for Jane to answer? Follow Katherine Feeney on Twitter: katherinefeeney. Like CityKat on Facebook kfeeney fairfaxmedia. Katherine Feeney is a journalist with the Nine Network Australia. Confessions of a single girl searching the web for casual sex. Please try again later. The Sydney Morning Herald. July 27, — 3. Save Log in , register or subscribe to save articles for later. Normal text size Larger text size Very large text size. This morning's tech issues now fixed. Have a read, have a think. Have your say below. Jane and I will be reading What do you think?

Share your comments below! Katherine Feeney Twitter .

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