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These people are wildly different, and yet they can all be considered cool because they project something special — a certain je ne sais quoi — that makes them stand out. Even more important than what someone does or how they dress is how they act. Julie Gurner. Coolness is also about accepting who you are , showing up authentically, being kind to everyone — the list goes on.
Sabrina Romanoff , a clinical psychologist. If you feel uncool or unconfident , no worries. The reason? They listen, they try to understand — and as a result, they help everyone feel seen and understood. To steal these vibes for yourself, Romanoff suggests being fully present in the moment and appreciating the fact you get to share it with the people around you. This will change how you experience situations and how others experience you, and will ultimately lead to a more liberating outlook. Effortlessly cool peeps tend to give off independent vibes.
Even when life throws curveballs their way, the coolest of the cool tend to roll with the punches. And it's not to say that they don't have insecurities or anxieties, or that they don't care. They do, however, maintain a laid-back attitude that allows them to see the world with clarity. Another key component to coolness is a lack of desire to impress, board-certified life coach Esther Gonzalez-Freeman, BCC tells Bustle. Just to really drive the point home, let's talk about confidence again.
It doesn't matter what it is — drawing, running marathons, knitting, collecting too many plants — most cool people have fun interests and hobbies , Ritu Reimer, LPC , a d therapist and coach, tells Bustle. Oh, and they're passionate about them. The reason having a hobby is "cool" is because passion is intriguing. Cool people are interesting because they're always learning something new , and thus always have something to talk about. Since cool people try to embrace their quirks — whatever they may be — they tend to have an easier time embracing the quirks and shortcomings of others.
As a result, they're incredibly open-minded and nonjudgmental, which goes back to the idea of putting others at ease. When you're hanging out with someone who you think is cool, it's pretty hard to feel bored. And that's because they can make even the most mundane moments feel special. Ramani Durvasula , a d clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. This is why your coolest friend is always jumping into lakes, pulling you into bookstores, and generally cracking jokes or making interesting observations. To steal this trait for yourself, try opening up more about the inner workings of your mind.
It helps build intimacy with everyone around you, and that bond will always seem cool. Cool people never stop learning, and often put effort not only into getting to know others but in improving themselves as well. To be cool, be engaged. Movies and books often portray cool people as part of an exclusive group, but nothing could be further from the truth. They also look for ways to help, Hathaway says. Perhaps the biggest takeaway of coolness is its foundation in authenticity.
The best part? These qualities are available, in some way, shape, or form, to everyone. By learning more about yourself, projecting confidence, and accepting those around you, you'll have an "it" factor that's hard to deny. Julie Gurner , clinical psychologist. Sabrina Romanoff , clinical psychologist. David Bennett , certified counselor.
Heather Monahan , author and confidence expert. Ritu Reimer, LPC , a d therapist and coach. Ramani Durvasula , d clinical psychologist. Susan Shumsky , author. By Carolyn Steber. Updated: July 16, Originally Published: March 16,Just lookin for chill people
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